“Dealing With Depression” copyright 2008 by John J. Rigo, a Gun Barrel City Texas Columnist

Gun Barrel City Columnist

As a 66 year old senior in my community of Gun Barrel City in Texas, I have been concerned with the growing illness of depression of seniors observed of neighbors and friends in my community.  From my personal experience, as well as extensive personal research in these areas I wish to share my observations and ways to deal with this issue before it reaches the stage of becoming totally devastating to an individual.

From my point of view, I feel the majority of depressive instances in ones life begin by “situational episodes.”  This can be due to changing health issues (for the worse), relationship changes (a divorce or separation) or a death in the immediate family and devasting to one, change in employment or work related life situations.

Even if your current health is excellent from a mental health point of view, I suggest that you locate a clinical psychologist that you have great confidence in and place them on your emergency list of “back-ups” if you feel depression coming on in your life.  Many times, these individuals can represent a quick “tune-up” for your mental state.  Also, since there is so much insurance paperwork involved in paying for the cost of these sessions, you should consider “paying cash” for their weekly or bi-monthly services.  Also offering to place your hour within the times they generally are not as busy with patients, can also bring your net costs down.  Many times, one can get the hourly session down to as little as fifty dollars for an hours session. Having a trained professional listen to you for an hour is worth every dime of a possible fifty dollar session fee.  Many times upcoming depression can be stopped in its tracks, just by having someone objective to talk to, other than family and friends. 

Many times, if this first stage of depression is not dealt with in a positive way, the depressive order can become chronic in nature, requiring extensive confided hospitalization and treatment programs.  It is not unusual in this extensive “brain imbalance of chemicals,” that these episodes can last up to several years before becoming controlled and balanced.

An unhealthy “self-image” can also contribute to clinical depression.  The simple act of walking every morning can be a controlling factor.  Starting out with a half a mile to eventually three miles in a good brisk walk can make ones world seem much brighter and worth living.  Consider investing in a good quality health studio or work out facility.  The quality of individuals that generally go these facilities are generally high quality as well as individuals with positive mental attitudes. 

As important of all of the above, is your religious beliefs.  Learn to pray to God, regardless of Who you may believe your maker is.  Spend time in learning more about your Christian beliefs.  If you do not attend church on a regular basis, find a local church to attend every Sunday.  With just these four factors in place, you will find that in a short time your depression will disappear, thereby preventing you from a long hospital stay, as well as a treatment program.

“I Can Still Smell the Air of my Memories” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

It is said by many, 

that love has many faces in memory.

The fresh love of youth,

the faithfulness of love in latter life,

between two, who have been together,

for half a century.

Different kinds of love in youth and aging time. 

After almost twenty five years,

the memories of you are still fresh in my mind.

The time we shared in discovery of each other are as clear,

as the memory of the smell of air that surrounded us in those memories.

Sitting at my desk on the showroom floor of that place I worked in the downtown area. 

Watching you walk by my window each day,

as the blowing wind of the street played with your dress about your walking legs.

It was one day, that I noticed you also was watching me at my desk,

as you smiled at me, with a small wave of your hand in walking by the window,

directly in front of my desk.

It was the beginning of my falling in love with you.

There is not enough room in poetry to tell of all we shared in that year.

I do know now, that during that time, I did find something very special in my life.

It was something too special to put words to.

I was too foolish and immature to know how to keep such a gift back then.

Still, I wanted to take this time to say “thank you” for giving me memories,

that will always have,

a very special place in my memories of you,

as well as a very special place in my heart for only you.

Until we met again,

in another place,

beyond this life and world,

I will always remember the smell of the air,

about us,

when we were together.

 

“Ghostly, Do I Walk” copyright 2005 John J. Rigo “Roses Amidst Thorns”

Chains of sorrow upon my neck,

reaching for the ones I knew,

unable to touch.

A slight breath of air,

words spoken, but not heard.

My world is full of “If I could’s,”

no clock to turn back on my regrets.

I offer only a prayer to my unseen God

to let this end.

I say to you,

there is no time left

but the time of this moment.

Time to forgive,

time to say, “I love you.”

Time to give of yourself,

for all that you could have done,

with this precious thing called Life.

In so doing, perhaps you not also be,

on this ghostly path,

that may never end for me.

“Lord, What Does Thou Desire for the Rest of My Life?” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

A fish following the stream of life.

Going with the flow was the majority of my life.

Finally, twenty years ago, I gave my life to His care.

The blessings that followed,

were beyond my dreams.

I now face the last days of my life,

unsure of what is pleasing to my Lord.

Desiring only to finish my life in a way,

that will be His plan and wishes for His creation.

As each day passes,

I become more aware of the speck of dust,

I am in His creation.

To know that His presence in close to me,

and His Love, no less than any of His other creations,

only humbles me further.

I kneel in homage and worship to my Lord.

May I be so bold, as your humble servant,

to ask your guidance in how I can spent the rest of my life,

in bringing pride to my Father, 

who has given me life,

and the blessings of this life.

Lord, hear my prayer,

“Lord, What does Thou Desire for the rest of my life?”    

  

“Our Poor Support for the Gun Barrel City Police Department” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo

Columnist

There is something truly sad about our lack of support for our Gun Barrel City Police Department in Texas. This realization came to me in a reality check yesterday while spending a long weekend at our Lake home in Gun Barrel City.  As a child, born and raised in New York City, and through being a member the Police Athletic League, was rendered a great respect for those who take on the responsibility of becoming law enforcement officers.  It was many a Christmas as a child, that the only present I received that year was through my association, with what was called ”PAL.”  Hence, the sharing of this story, which asks you, the reader, as a full time or weekend homeowner in Gun Barrel City on Cedar Creek Lake, to become involved in fully supporting our Gun Barrel Police Department with higher wages. 

It was shortly after July 4th, 2008 that I went to the Gun Barrel Police Department to file an official complaint.  In hand, I held a supply of spent as well as some live fireworks that were fired and landed within feet of my home the evening of July 4th at my home in Gun Barrel City.  The fireworks that evening continued into the early hours of the morning, landing dangerously close to my home.  A phone call to the owner of the business property next to my home, brought no response when the activity started earlier that particular night.

After close to a half hour wait in the secured lobby of the Gun Barrel Police Department, a sharply dressed police woman approached me at the bench I was sitting at.  She professionally identified herself and proceeded to listen to my complaint.  During the course of our conversation, we found that we had much in common.  One being that my wife is currently dealing with her second bout of breast cancer after ten years with a previous bout of breast cancer.  She related that she was also in the process of going through extensive tests for possible breast cancer.

While in the process of filing out an official complaint form, she related her pride in her work as a Gun Barrel Police Officer.  She further related how she felt that she made a “real difference” in her community.  I left the interview, with her card in hand, and was singularly impressed that homeowners in Gun Barrel City were blessed with such high calibre police personnel.

It was Monday, August 4th, 2008, that I again seen this officer walking toward her police car with a partner, as my wife and I pulled into the parking lot of the local Subway Shop in Gun Barrel City.  I told my wife how impressed I was with her and made it a point to approach this officer in her car before proceeding to leave the shop area.  With a huge smile she recognized me, as the window rolled down on her police cruiser.  She addressed me by my name, as I introduced my wife to her, which at that time she commented what a beautiful woman she was in her appearance.  During the course of our brief conversation she confirmed that I had no more incidents with illegal fireworks from my neighbor.  She confirmed that she had spoke to the business owner the day of my official complaint. 

In front of my wife, I explained that the officer was also having issues with possible breast cancer, and for my wife to give her a business card, so that they could possible exchange information on the experience.  Shortly after this was when the officer asked if we knew of any folks interested in her doing house cleaning part time.  I told her that I knew the general manager of the local paper and to call the paper with an ad and have the ad charged to me. 

I thought it was sad that the pay scale of a Gun Barrel Police person was so low that an officer had to seek part time house cleaning to supplement their income.  To my way of thinking, an officer can take that same bullet in a small rural town as easily as a large metro city.  There seemed to be no excuse in my mind for law enforcement officers not getting top wages for the work they do, beside putting their lives on the line each day for us. 

I too, am like many homeowners in the area, enjoy the lower tax structure, as well as no city tax for Gun Barrel City in Texas.  Whatever the budget may be for Gun Barrel City, I feel it should be assured that police and fire personnel can enjoy a living wage in serving our community. You can mark me down, as one tax paying homeowner in the area who would gladly pay more in taxes to see that become a reality in our community. 

“I’ll Take Romance Anyday” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book titled, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

I will take Romance any day

or any time over a wagging tongue.

Thank you God for giving me the gift of having a memory from my past.

There is a certain sadness in finding those days of joy

only in ones memories.

It is not about the direct act of sex,

but rather of the joy leading to it.

I remember those days,

when I had no need to defend myself,

from the damsel,

as well as the enemy forthcoming.

A knight in shining armour attempting to justify the gleam of steel,

against a negative spirit,

that stands at my side.

Oh, how weary do I become with that constant wagging

of the dark damsel’s tongue,

with a lack of spirit and encouragement in my life.

I have gotten to a place,

that the enjoyment of a lie

from a fair and beautiful one,

would be welcomed to my eyes and ears. 

Lie to me, if you must.

If there is nothing you can find in me,

that redeems me,

do not let me know of your doubt.

For a short while,

let me be the hero that I thought I was at one time.

Let me not have to go to my memories my dear one,

where kisses were wetter and deeper in their giving.

When a touch was all it took

to bring me to a frenzy of desire for you.

The clock of time left in my life,

ticks more loudly than yesterday.

Hasten love of rich delights,

before love fades in age,

from my sight,

and my senses.  

“I Cannot Imagine Life Without You” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

The words came like a knife to my heart.

It was evening, and we had just gotten in bed.

The words were whispered in the smallest of voice from you.

We were lying side by side, with my arm around your waist.

This was always, in all these years, in how I went to sleep with you.

The words were, “I don’t want to leave you” in an almost sobbing voice.

Then it was your silent breathing again.

 

I tried to visualize my life without you.

All that my mind gave back was a blank screen.

Lord, did I not pray enough for You to watch over her?

After all these years, the darkness of cancer returns to my bride.

And what of the cure?

Killing her body in order to make it better?

We build Atomic bombs to kill our enemies.

Accomplished the impossible, in placing mankind on the moon,

and returning them.

Yet we must see those we love,

be placed at the edge of death,

in order to get better.

I am angry with the greed and ignorance of man. 

“The Dark Angel Amidst Us” copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming book, “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Amidst us stands the Dark Angel,

joyful at each victory gained against us.

A free will to choose Good or Evil,

a gift from our Loving God,

is a part of our daily struggles.

The weapons of the Dark One are many.

Darkness that covers our mind with sorrow

in our latter years,

to place us in a void of hopelessness,

and fear.

Lost of health, lost of loved ones,

bringing doubt to our aging minds.

Are we to be snatched from His Love at our

Eleventh hour before death?

Render your darkness to God’s Love and Power.

The Lord will lift you above this Evil.

Never fear, never give in to distrust nor hate,

in the darkness that attacks you .

The Dark One’s only reward in eternity is suffering;

while yours, will be in the Light of God’s Love forever.

“Reunion” Copyright 2008 John J. Rigo upcoming poetry book “Passion Amidst Apathy”

Today I thought of all the people

that touched my life with love.

Many are names remembered,

and many, sadly, names that have been forgotten.

To each of you, I render my love,

and eternal appreciation for sharing

a part of yourselves with me.

Many of you, I will never see again,

in this life.

Many of you, have passed from this life.

We shall all met again,

in God’s Love in our forever time together.

Cocoons for a short flicker of light,

before unfolding our wings in eternal flight.

“America: What Were You Thinking?” copyright 2008 by John J. Rigo

I love my country.  As a first generation Italian born in New York, New York, whose Father was an Italian immigrant, I am confused and angry with the lack of leadership that our country has at its helm.  “America, what were you thinking” is the phrase that keeps tracking through my mind concerning our lack of leadership in this country.  To hear on the news medias that over seventy percent of our oil is now imported from outside of the United States is an unbelievable situation in our country.  Why would our citizens, and our leaders allowed this situation to rapidly develop over the last twenty years?

Keep in mind, this is my point of view.  I am sure a thirty-five year old would have a different point of view, a young American citizen who never served in the Armed Forces would have another, a single individual, yet another point of view.  As a senior citizen and self-employed business individual with my wife for the last twenty-five years in an insurance causality agency in McKinney, Texas, I am sure my point of view is not totally unusual.  I have served four years of honorable service in the U.S. Air Force.  I know what it is like to raise a family, since I was the stepfather to three children (from grammar school through college for two of them) in a prior marriage of fourteen years.

There is certain things about my country in this current time, that does not make sense to me.  It seems almost unfashionable to be a “loving and proud American.”  Our borders seem to me in a fashion open to our neighbor to the South and regardless of what our leaders say, the Horne of illegals in this country have been welcomed with open arms, regardless of the lack of respect its citizens have for our country.  Why do I say this, because a week does not go by in my business that I come across a second or third generation Mexican-American who cannot speak English, nor even has the desire to speak our language.  A huge contrast from my Father, who when I was a child, said to my Mother, that he only had two desires when he came to America.  One to speak English, like someone who was born here, and Two, to became a proud American citizen. To this day, I take pride in being a first generation American Italian in this great country.

What has happened to good olde’ American pride?  The approach to life that believes in working hard, living below your means and saving one’s money for the future, whether it may be a “rainy day” or otherwise.  We now have our government saying that printing up additional money and sending it to tax paying citizens is noted as a failure in the policies and programs of this nation under its current leadership. Since when do we find it necessary to reward those who have not followed the approach of working hard and saving ones money?

In America, we have a country that started on Christian principles and came about because of a strong belief in God and the rights of man, under God.  Yet we have sold our ourselves to a part of the world that would like seeing Christianity crushed under their heels as they decide what our futures will be with their allocations of oil from their lands. It seems to me, a country that invented the Atom bomb to destroy our enemies in the second world war, and placed a man on the moon, and returned him could accomplish any goal in this country.  Why is not technology not put into place to free us from this slavery to oil? 

My conclusions to some of this are that we have a huge “Apathy” problem on the part of the citizens of this country.  This is plainly shown in the low numbers of those registered voters that vote in local elections, at the city level, as well as the county level.  We need to restructure our approach to how we elect our local and national representatives in our government.  An approach to the “Citizen Server” is the only approach that makes sense to me in securing the future of this country and keeping it from becoming a third world class power on this planet. Reference my previous post in June, in an approach on this subject: http://wordsuponmystone.wordpress.com/2008/06/10/but-it-has-always-been-done-that-way-copyright-2008-by-john-j-rigo-a-point-of-view-of-a-mckinney-texas-resident